The Night After Christmas

'Twas the night after Christmas, when all through the store
Every employee was working at an annual chore:
The sale signs were hung by the windows aplenty,
In hopes that tomorrow, the store wouldn't be empty.

The merchandise all piled on every surface,
Hung on hangers, and displayed for one purpose:
For all the branding consumers weren't enticed,
The market requires the products repriced.

When out on the parking lot arose such a clatter,
One of the employees sprang to see what was the matter.
Away to the door, she flew like a flash,
Happy to stop bemoaning the store's lack of cash.

The moon glow on the pavement proved,
As illuminating as a video on YouTube.
When, what to her inquiring eyes should appear,
But the branding guru, and in his eye, a tear?

The marketing had failed, the sales not triumphant,
The guy sneaking away was the company's consultant.
More rapid than eagles his course was quite plain,
A getaway with successful branding he would claim.

"Now Viral! now, Social! now, Awareness and Retention!
On, Creative! On, Catchy! on, seeking only mention!
The brand was made memorable, I won't take the fall!
Didn't they know it wasn't supposed to sell at all?"

As the store was chocked full with images and colors,
Assumed to have uses by exploited dullards.
On TV and online the ads, they still flew,
But there wasn't much of anything they'd do.

And then, in a twinkling, she heard only silence,
No customers, no visitors, no interested clients.
Turning around, she surveyed a store haunted by vague hopes,
As the branding guru seemed to say "adios, you dopes!"

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his shoes,
His clothes stylishly modern, a necktie refused.
A messenger bag of work samples flung on his back,
She could tell by his eyes that he'd never come back.

Armed with examples of what branding can do,
Off to find other clients' budgets to burn through.
Supported by branding claims so esoteric,
Unquestionable, like a Church of Branding cleric.

So what if consumers didn't show they cared?
Paying for the brand attributes they weren't prepared.
Ev'ry abstract claim, all that clever stuff,
To prompt purchase behavior, it just wasn’t enough.

And at stores like this one, left high and dry,
With very few options left to try.
No time for more hype, people don't buy air,
Expecting them to magically arrive is unfair.

So a righting of wrongs, a balancing occurs,
The process of matching wants and needs endures.
Give consumers real reasons for them to buy,
And sales results may warrant more than a sigh.

The staffer returned to repricing merchandise,
Ignoring the branding blather, to be precise.
Then the guru added, as if to her labor regale:
"Happy Christmas to all, and good luck with the sale!"

Comments

[Tom Asacker]

Thanks for the laugh Jonathan! I needed it. :)

[Patrick Byers]

Jonathan,

Great post.

It got me thinking about trust, and how marketers have a long way to go to earn it with consumers.

Here's what I had to say:
http://responsiblemarketing.com/blog/?p=791

Happy holidays.

Patrick

[varul]

Yes, This might happened at every business except monopoly business. If the time comes everybody rises its commodity price. Its comes down when the times got up.